Back Yard of the Universe

Hello fact-fans! It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here due to my schedule as a fictitious person being a bit full. To make up for it, here are some nuggets of trivia from my Book of Super Amazo-Facts, available soon in a bookstore near you (or within 500 miles).

• In an unaired episode of The Flintstones, Fred suffered a psychotic episode and savagely beat his boss, Mr. Slate, to death with a diplodocus leg-bone. This was later re-written as the 1993 Michael Douglas film Falling Down, though thankfully all scenes featuring The Great Gazoo were completely removed.
• A trained stingray in Los Angeles by the name of Stanley can mime the words to T’Ain’t What You Do (It’s the Way That You Do It) by Fun Boy Three featuring Bananarama (that’s the song that features them, by the way, not the stingray).
• Contrary to popular belief, it is not possible to open a tin of cat food by staring at it really hard (unless you happen to be Superman).
• American Charlie Briefcase has been stuck in a revolving door for the past seventeen years. Charlie, only son of a Detroit twig-maker, entered the door at Old Joe Joeson’s Old Time Department Store on 6th Avenue, Milwaukee, three days after his fifteenth birthday. Thanks to a combination of inbreeding and perseverance, Charlie has been spinning around the door ever since, either unable or unwilling to leave. Every Christmas and birthday his parents have thrown presents at him as he revolves by, and he is fed by a complex series of pipes and pulleys specially designed by Sir Clive Sinclair.
• Sherlock Holmes never used the phrase ‘elementary, my dear Watson’ in any of the original Conan Doyle stories. However, in an unpublished manuscript uncovered in the mid-1980s after a sizable dose of bad opium he does accuse Watson of ‘teabagging’ Moriarty.

More soon!